How to Survive the Next Four Years Like a French Woman

Just what is their secret? French women seem to do everything with an effortless _je ne sais quoi—_whether it’s eating, dressing, dating, or resisting fascism. Our resident Parisienne shares her tips for elegantly surviving the next two hundred or so weeks.

Thank Invest in Staple Pieces

Don’t splurge on every knickknack that catches your eye! French women have an inborn talent for recognizing quality and buying things that last. Like a copper I.U.D., which will see you through to 2021.

Flirt Constantly

It’s in a French girl’s blood to flirt with anyone who crosses her path—quel charme! You’ll find such a tactic helpful when you or a loved one is detained without explanation, the recipient of death threats, harassed at a protest, or arrested for blasphemy.

Always Keep Perfume on Hand

Which is to say, pepper spray.

Sip Your Wine

French women don’t drink to get drunk; they savor a glass or six of Beaujolais in the face of crushing anxiety over the brisk pace at which Donald Trump is enacting his campaign promises.

Maintain an Air of Mystery

Don’t give it all up at once! French women know that withholding information is seductive. When an alt-right bro gaslights you, keep some choice expletives in reserve until you get to know each other better. 😉

Portion Control

The reason French women seem to be able to indulge in so many sinful treats and stay trim is their immaculate portion control. Learn to stop after just one serving of Twitter, cable news, or video of a Nazi getting punched and you can enjoy these choice indulgences every day.

Eat Yogurt

It’s good for digestion.

Embrace Imperfection

So there are still a few Trump apologists in your newsfeed (family). Let it go! French women don’t get worked up over the small stuff. Donate to Planned Parenthood in their names and call it a day.

Take Off One Thing Before You Leave the House

Do you really need mace, a rape whistle, and nunchucks every time you go outside? Probably yes, given the prevalence and normalization of violence against women and minorities since Election Day. Via the NewYorker by Krithika Baragur. But it’s much more chic to pick just one for the good fight.

xxxxx,

Janice

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Shani Crowe’s Exhibition

In love with Shani Crowe’s exhibition at the Saint Heron house.




xxxxx,

Janice 

This Is the Type of Romantic Relationship That’s Least Likely to Last

Do you ever wonder why some relationships have staying power while others seem doomed to fail? Psychology can actually predict where your relationship is headed, as detailed in a scientific paper titled Pathways of Commitment to Wed: The Development and Dissolution of Romantic Relationships. Researchers found that relationships fall into one of four categories and within the most populated of the categories (34% of relationships) are the couples most prone to breakups.

As highlighted by Business Insider, the study assessed nearly 400 heterosexual unmarried couples between ages 19 and 35, interviewing them over the course of nine months and asking how likely it was the participants would marry their partners. The four commitment patterns arose. First, partner-focused commitments were when the participants’ likelihood of getting married increased with positive developments in the relationship, showing forward progression. Socially-involved commitments found participants’ reasons changed due to an outside social involvement, such as their mom approving or disapproving, but showed relatively few dips in levels of commitment. Conflict-ridden commitments were relationships affected by conflicts and that became stuck in the same stage without advancement or regression. This category is related to the final and most dangerous category—dramatic commitments—and the only real difference is how couples were able to handle conflict.

Relationships that were dramatic commitments were characterized by significant downturns in their level of commitment. “Dramatic commitments appear to have a relatively turbulent progression toward commitment that is riddled with negative views of the relationship,” the study notes. These individuals were also more likely to spend time with separate friend groups The chances of these relationships ending in a breakup over the course of the study was about double to any other group. By Domaine. Head to the comments to weigh in on these findings.

xxxxxxx,

Janice 

6 Science-Backed Tips to Impress Everyone You Meet 

We’ve all been there. Sitting across from someone we admire, crippled with anxiety because we don’t want to do or say the wrong thing, and knowing full well that first impressions last the longest. Whether you’re conscious of it or not, a Princeton University study found it only takes 1/10 of a second to judge someone based on their appearance. We agree it isn’t right, but it’s a reality. So knowing this fact, how do we make a killer first impression and ensure their memory of you is a positive one?Turns out there are a few science-backed tricks you can keep up your manicured sleeve to help when the tongue starts to tie next time. And if you really don’t feel confident, then practice makes perfect—and these conversation starters will help too. 


DON’T WASTE TIME

When you’re trying to make a mark, don’t wait. According to new research, you only have the blink of an eye to truly get your act together and impress that person. It might not seem fair to be judged in 1/10 of a second, but psychologists believe this “accelerated and accurate ability to judge trustworthiness in others may have evolved as an important survival mechanism.” So if you really want your prospective employer, future partner, or new friend to walk away with a good feeling about you after the first meeting, act quickly and employ some of our strategies outlined below.

HAVE A CONFIDENT HANDSHAKE

If this isn’t something that comes naturally to you, then practice it with friends or colleagues to perfect it. New neuroscience research from a paper published in the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience confirmed the power of a firm, friendly handshake when making a good first impression in both social and business circumstances.

“We found that it not only increases the positive effect toward a favorable interaction, but it also diminishes the impact of a negative impression,” said research lead Sanda Dolcos. “Many of our social interactions may go wrong for a reason or another, and a simple handshake preceding them can give us a boost and attenuate the negative impact of possible misunderstandings.”

WAIT BEFORE YOU SPEAK

Known for her research on power posing and its confidence-boosting benefits, social psychologist Amy Cuddy recently turned her attention to first impressions and found we evaluate people on two things: trustworthiness and confidence. So in that 1/10 of a second, you need to establish the other person’s trust. But how do you convey trust in a first interaction? Cuddy says you need to let the other person speak first. Being overly dominant will come across as threatening and they’ll either feel defensive or “try to out alpha you.”

To do this, Cuddy suggests simply asking them a question. “I think people make the mistake, especially in business settings, of thinking that everything is negotiation,” she told Wired. “They think, ‘I better get the floor first so that I can be in charge of what happens.’ The problem with this is that you don’t make the other person feel warmth toward you. Warmth is really about making the other person feel understood. They want to know that you understand them. And doing that is incredibly disarming.

MAKE EYE CONTACT WHEN YOU DO

Before you roll your eyes at something so seemingly obvious, we couldn’t compile a story about first impressions without reiterating how important this simple act is. Maintaining eye contact is crucial if you want to establish trust and transfer integrity toward the person you’re trying to impress. A study in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin and reported in Business News Daily found a “significant correlation between people looking while they spoke and how others judged their intelligence.”

We truly understand how intimidating some of these can be, especially if it’s for a major career opportunity or meeting the parents of your significant other for the first time, but making a conscious effort to connect with them at eye level will make all the difference in solidifying a strong connection.

USE THE POWER OF FACIAL CUES

Since we already know that people judge us in 1/10 of a second based on our appearance, then use your facial expressions and physical characteristics to change it. A research article published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General found facial cues can shape one’s perception of your intelligence and attractiveness. A nice smile goes a long way in enhancing your appeal during a first meeting. But not all smiles were created equal. The study reported in Psychology Today found that a “large grin can make someone seem naive, while a subtle smile with just a slight upturn in the curvature of the mouth can make people appear more intelligent as well as friendly.”

ADJUST YOUR TONE OF VOICE

Now that you’ve nailed all the above, it’s time to get your tone of voice in order. Wait, what? Now I need to worry about how my voice sounds during a first meeting? According to psychologist Drew Randell at the University of Lethbridge in Canada, “People do make snap judgments when they hear someone’s voice.” In fact, new research by Phil McAleer, a psychologist at the University of Glasgow in the United Kingdom and lead author, found people formed an opinion on someone based on the tone of voice and could determine whether they were trustworthy or untrustworthy based on a 300- to 500-millisecond soundbite of hello. “It is amazing that from such short bursts of speech you can get such a definite impression of a person,” McAleer told Science Mag. “And that, irrespective of whether it is accurate, your impression is the same as what the other listeners get.” Do you agree with science? Would you try any of these tactics? Shop our top book selection below for more insight on how to impress someone you admire. By Domaine.

xxxxxxx,

Janice