Why you could be a victim of digital kidnapping

.Reading time 7 minutes.

As a parent, it is your priority to look out for and protect your children. It’s a natural instinct. What if I told you that in some ways you are putting them in more danger than you can imagine?Have you ever heard of digital kidnapping? Prepare to have your world turned upside down.

Social media platforms are easily accessible nowadays. Almost everyone has an online profile. It’s a place to share your inner thoughts, opinions, personal and even intimate moments — a new engagement, new home, new pet, a new vacation, and especially a new baby.

New mothers love sharing pictures of their children online, but some vow to post minimal or no pictures of their children. I’m not a mother myself, but understand the need or desire to share every moment of your precious baby with your friends and family. Their height, their weight, their likes or dislikes. Your child is your biggest accomplishment and you should be proud that child is all your own — but are they?

Look up hashtags like #proudmommy or #momspam ( I mean even I am guilty of using the #proudaunt tag) you will find thousands of happy kids or babies, sharing happy moments with the world. This is where the story get dark, now look up hashtags like #babyrp #childrp or #orphanrp. The ‘rp’ stands for role play. Your child’s picture has been taken by a complete stranger. Your child had a new name, a new life story, and a new mommy or daddy. Your child has been digitally kidnapped.

Before last night I never even heard of the term or trend, until I saw a Facebook article shared by an old university classmate. Her caption was simple, ‘this is why I never post pictures of my child online.’ The article led me to a news story of a young mom named April. In 2012, she gave birth to twins, Sophia and Vivienne. She was a mom that loved to post pictures of her children online. April even joined a special Facebook group where she would upload pictures of her babies, which were often met with adoring comments and support. Then, one day she got a message from a total stranger alerting her that her kids pictures were found on another woman’s page.

The twins were now named Adaya and Kamberlin. These babies had a new mom. Her name was listed as Ashley and she spoke about the love she had for her children and even shared false medical issues the girls were suffering from. April was a victim of a digital kidnapper. The police were not able to do anything as there was ‘no crime’ or actual harm to the children. Despite threats of legal action and reports of a false profile, Ashley kept posting pictures of her ‘children’. Flash forward to 2016, and April was still fighting this digital kidnapper and even appeared on an episode of Dr Phil where she revealed just how far the story escalated.

April and her husband hired a private investigator to investigate Ashley- this fake mom came with a criminal profile and a longstanding “history” of her twins being taken away from her by her mother. Worst of all, there were pictures of her fake daughters all over her house — on her bedstand, on the living room walls, and in the entry way.

While this story is extreme, it speaks volumes to the society we are living in. People share every moment and detail online for temporary hits of pleasure and satisfaction from virtual strangers and distant friends. This trend goes hand in hand with artists having their material stolen and passed off as someone else, or even online fraud and identity theft. People catfish everyday, pretending to be someone else in order to get a date.  Cases like this did not exist 10  to 15 years ago because your personal treasures and moments were kept in a photo album inside a drawer and pulled out only when close friends or family come to visit. Now, nothing is private and nothing is sacred. Our culture has evolved so dramatically that this is the new normal.

The babyrp hashtag has been hidden on Instagram due to reported content that doesn’t meet the website’s ‘conditions,’ but from the few posts that remain, strangers role play the lives of babies and kids, giving them an entirely different life and creepy fantasies. This is truly the dark side of Instagram and, as I said before, the trend is small but growing thanks to our obsession with social media. So, what can you do?

• The obvious, would be to limit the amount of posts with your young kids on social media or use platforms that only temporarily share the pictures like snapchat or Instagram Story.

• Don’t include any identity details in the pictures

• Download an app that helps you watermark pictures, similar to professional photographers.

• Tighten up your privacy settings: you have the option to make your profile private on sites like Instagram

• Review your friends lists and make sure you’re actually willing to share these photos with your online friends and consider e-mail for larges sets of pictures

Digital kidnapping is not illegal and it is hard to control, just be aware of what you post online and make it difficult for people to identify your child as their own. Womenspost Leanne Benn.

xxxxx,

Janice

How to Survive the Next Four Years Like a French Woman

.Reading time 3 minutes.

Just what is their secret? French women seem to do everything with an effortless _je ne sais quoi—_whether it’s eating, dressing, dating, or resisting fascism. Our resident Parisienne shares her tips for elegantly surviving the next two hundred or so weeks.

Thank Invest in Staple Pieces

Don’t splurge on every knickknack that catches your eye! French women have an inborn talent for recognizing quality and buying things that last. Like a copper I.U.D., which will see you through to 2021.

Flirt Constantly

It’s in a French girl’s blood to flirt with anyone who crosses her path—quel charme! You’ll find such a tactic helpful when you or a loved one is detained without explanation, the recipient of death threats, harassed at a protest, or arrested for blasphemy.

Always Keep Perfume on Hand

Which is to say, pepper spray.

Sip Your Wine

French women don’t drink to get drunk; they savor a glass or six of Beaujolais in the face of crushing anxiety over the brisk pace at which Donald Trump is enacting his campaign promises.

Maintain an Air of Mystery

Don’t give it all up at once! French women know that withholding information is seductive. When an alt-right bro gaslights you, keep some choice expletives in reserve until you get to know each other better. 😉

Portion Control

The reason French women seem to be able to indulge in so many sinful treats and stay trim is their immaculate portion control. Learn to stop after just one serving of Twitter, cable news, or video of a Nazi getting punched and you can enjoy these choice indulgences every day.

Eat Yogurt

It’s good for digestion.

Embrace Imperfection

So there are still a few Trump apologists in your newsfeed (family). Let it go! French women don’t get worked up over the small stuff. Donate to Planned Parenthood in their names and call it a day.

Take Off One Thing Before You Leave the House

Do you really need mace, a rape whistle, and nunchucks every time you go outside? Probably yes, given the prevalence and normalization of violence against women and minorities since Election Day. Via the NewYorker by Krithika Baragur. But it’s much more chic to pick just one for the good fight.

xxxxx,

Janice

Attention, Moms: You’re Doing Great

.Reading time 3 minutes.

As rewarding as parenting is, it can also be frustrating and full of self-doubt. To help quell the worries that most parents encounter at one point or another, Constance Hall, an Australian mom and blogger, shared some wisdom on her Facebook page on Sunday.

Hall wrote that, a few weeks ago, a friend of hers told her that she was “such a good mum.”

“Feeling like a total fraud,” Hall wrote, “I blurted, ‘I don’t feel like a good mum. The kids are driving me so crazy, I’m losing my temper and falling asleep at night wondering where I’m going got [sic] get the patients [sic] for another day.'”

Her friend’s response, however, floored her.

“Babies cry, it’s how they communicate. Toddlers scream, children whinge, and teenagers complain,” she recalled her friend saying. “But guess what Con? It’s better then [sic] silence.”

“It’s the silent children, the scared toddlers, the teenagers that don’t come home and the parents who aren’t in communication with their children that I worry about,” her friend, who works as a child therapist, continued. “And kids don’t drive you crazy, you were crazy already. That’s why you had them.”

It’s a simple reminder, but one that really hit home for Hall: “And just like that, I felt like a good parent again,” she wrote. “Deep breaths, you’re doing a good job.” Judging by the fact that Hall’s post has already been shared over 118,000 times at the time of writing, it looks like her friend’s message resonated with plenty of other people, too.

“My son and I have been butting heads the last couple of days,” one Facebook user commented. “I did not sleep last night and spent the whole of today wondering what I am doing wrong. This post could not have come at a better time, thanks I really needed this.”

“I needed this, and all the lovely comments from all the other moms feeling like they are doing a craptastic job,” another wrote. “Thank you all from the bottom of my exhausted heart!!”

Hall’s note of reassurance may seem like a small gesture. But as commenters have noted, sometimes you need to be reminded that you’re doing fine and it’ll all be okay — even if it doesn’t always feel like that. Via Refinery29 Kimberly Truong.

xxxxx,

Janice

Do Women sacrifice more?

.Reading time less than 1 minute.

Do you think women sacrifice more in a relationship/Marriage?

1.    They have kids and 7 times out of 10, this affects their body and some even their self esteem.

2.    In most cases if a man has his job relocated the whole family would move but if it is the woman, they might not necessarily move. She would find another job.

3.    When a woman has a baby, as beautiful as that maybe, there is a hold on her career/studies.

4.    Cooking / Cleaning the house. I know some men do it but most of the time it is the women.

Just a few examples, all done in the name of Love but do women sacrifice more?

Just wondering…

xxxx,

Janice