Tag: motherhood

Mommy Brain: Yes, It’s a Thing

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“Momnesia” is real. Here’s how to deal.”

If you think delivering that gorgeous baby means an automatic return to your former mental self, think again. “Pregnancy brain” is real, and it can affect your postpartum brain as well. Example: Half of new moms still felt super sleepy 18 weeks after giving birth, according to a recent study published in PLOS One.

Here’s what to expect:

What causes it: Many experts attribute the sluggishness to the upheaval of hormones that inevitably occurs after childbirth. But Shannon Seip, co-author of Momnesia (Andrews McMeel Publishing) and a mother of two in Madison, Wis., thinks sleep deprivation is just as much of a factor. “Since I adopted my second child, I didn’t have the issue with hormones that I did with my first,” she says. “But I was definitely sleep-deprived, and I definitely had momnesia.” (As proof of that, she points to the time when she arrived at work without her shoes.)

The huge learning curve of taking care of a newborn also contributes. “You’re gathering so much new information, so worried about simply keeping your baby alive and well-fed, that it consumes your brain,” Seip explains.

How long it lasts: While research shows the fogginess can last up to a year after having a baby, many women start to see at least some improvement once they adjust to their new lives. Getting more of that ever-elusive sleep also helps.

What you can do in the meantime: Besides laughing it off, try to find comfort in the small triumphs. “You may not be able to remember your husband’s name,” Seip says, “but take pride in the fact that you know your pediatrician’s phone number by memory or that you can operate your breast pump with your eyes closed.”

Also take advantage of a few memory joggers: Leave yourself voicemails; write notes on your palm; keep a pen and paper in several places so you can jot down important reminders. And if you’re concerned about being able to find those reminders, place Post-its in a prominent place. “One mom put them on her baby!” Seip says. Fit pregnancy by Carole Anderson Lucia.

xxxxx,

Janice

50 Things Every Guy Should Know About Pregnancy and Parenthood

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1. From the very moment she announces her pregnancy, she’ll be the center of attention — not you. Get used to it.

2. When the baby comes, they’ll both be the center of attention — not you. Aren’t you glad you had nine months to practice going unnoticed?

3. Your house is too small, it was always too small, and to suggest otherwise simply proves that your brain is too small.

4. Are you about to make your mom and dad grandparents for the first time? Get ready for some ambivalence. There’s no such thing as a young grandparent; give them some time to deal with the shock.

5. She will want to use a birthing center. She will want a midwife. She will want a doctor. She will not want an epidural. She will scream for an epidural. Cesareans will sound great; they will sound awful. Agree with her always.

6. Lamaze is to childbirth what yoga is to football. Sort of. Just do it.

7. Her sense of smell will be so acute, you’ll be tempted to airlift her to join a search-and-rescue team.

8. You’re not really the coach. They’ll tell you that you are, but there will come a time when it’s time to shut your mouth and let her finish out the last two minutes of the game. Then you’ll step in and cut the net.

9. You will be short on cash. You will not buy clothes for yourself for a year. You will consider canceling cable. You will never own a flat-screen TV. But there will always be money for a crib, three car seats, two strollers and more plastic things in Day-Glo colors than you can throw a rattle at.

10. Buy new tires now.

11. During the first week home from the hospital, you will learn to love lasagna.

12. Yes, you’re holding the baby wrong. Do it her way.

13. By the time you change your third diaper, it will seem like the most normal thing in the world.

14. You won’t faint. No one does.

15. Be careful about the word we. For instance, never say, “We didn’t mind amniocentesis at all.”

16. There will come a day when you’ll be your child’s hero. Enjoy it — it won’t last.

17. Contractions are funny things (not ha-ha funny, either). Chances are they won’t match the chart you get at Lamaze. When she says it’s time to call the doctor and go to the hospital, it’s time to call the doctor and go to the hospital.

18. When your mother pulls you aside and tells you that breastfeeding will ruin her breasts, that babies only need to eat every four hours and that if you pick him up every time he cries he’ll never be independent enough to go to summer camp, don’t believe her.

19. During the second week home from the hospital, you will learn to love lasagna.

20. You’ll be surprised and amazed how well you can function on so little sleep.

21. Your child will like her best for a long time. You’ll get your turn — it just comes much later.

22. Tell everybody about the birth. It’s one of the few times people will be genuinely happy about your good fortune.

23. No one knows why babies use so many clothes, especially since they don’t get out much. It’s one of life’s little mysteries.

24. It’s perfectly normal to stare at a sleeping baby for two hours. It’s even normal to videotape a sleeping baby for two hours.

25. Whatever bad phase your kid is going through, you’ll find a solution. However, by the time you do that, he or she will be on to a new, even more confusing phase.

26. Things you thought would make you sick but won’t: baby poop, baby pee, baby puke — and having all of them on your shirt.

27. During the third month home — yep. Lasagna.

28. Pregnant sex is a wonderful thing.

29. While we’re on the subject of sex, it’s called “making love” and will be for at least a year.

30. Take a flask to the hospital.

31. She’ll have the appetite of a truck driver—and for good reason: she’s feeding your child! Save the commentary.

32. Try not to talk incessantly about your baby at work. There’ll be plenty of time for that when you get home.

33. If she wants drugs during childbirth, go get the doctor. Don’t ask, “Are you sure?”

34. The delivery room is the only place where screaming and pushing can actually strengthen your relationship.

35. Sometime after the birth, you and your wife will go on a “date.” Midway through, you both will start missing the baby.

36. You’ll get more advice from your childless friends. Parents will usually shrug and say, “It’ll pass.”

37. Now you know why your friends with newborns never let you visit, except to bring food.

38. A nanny is not a lactation consultant is not a day nurse is not a midwife is not a La Leche League leader is not a gynecologist is not a pediatrician. Learn the taxonomy.

39. After a slew of family visits, you will learn to appreciate “Everybody Loves Raymond.”

40. You don’t really have to be in the delivery room. JK! You do.

41. You won’t be able to trade in the less useful gifts for takeout.

42. Breast milk is to your baby like the yellow sun is to Superman. Lay off the bottles in the fridge.

43. A gym membership is not a push present. Save it for yourself.

44. She is Sybil. You must be Leo Buscaglia, Tony Robbins, Billy Graham and Phil Jackson all rolled into one. Hormones can make her feel like she has multiple personalities. Get to know each one, and roll with it. This is temporary.

45. It’s great to be pregnant — for the first two weeks. After amnio, genetic testing and lectures on breech births, you’ll be filled with a mix of anxiety and elation for the rest of your life. Give your parents a hug.

46. Now you know why all those dads at the mall walk around in those doofy cotton sweats.

47. Memorize these names: Baby Bjorn, My Brest Friend, Boppy.

48. Within six months, you’ll resume some semblance of a sex life.

49. Your baby will like Gerber better than anything you make from scratch.

50. Of course it changes everything.

That’s the whole point, isn’t it?

Two fathers share the nitty-gritty details that every dad-to-be needs to know. Via fit pregnancy. By Chistopher Napolitano and Stephen Randall.

xxxxx,

Janice

I DON’T HELP MY WIFE. YOU SHOULDN’T EITHER.

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I do not help my wife.

A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”

He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”

I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.

I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.

I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.

I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.

I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.

I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.

I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you

But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!

Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?

Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.

Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.

The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship!

Author unknown but truly awesome…via momminghard

xxxxxx,

Janice