Tag: motherhood

Est-ce que je suis moins mère parce que j’ai juste un enfant?

.Reading time 5 minutes.

Salut! Ça fait un bout que j’ai pas écrit un texte avec un peu de feelings dedans ici. C’est pas parce que j’ai pas de feelings, je vous l’assure, c’est juste que depuis le départ en ~ congé ~ de maternité de Carolane, je suis submergée de travail. On a un gros projet qui sort bientôt, alors on travaille vraiment fort pour réussir à respecter notre deadline. Parlant d’être submergée, je suis assaillie de commentaires depuis que Carolane a enfanté une deuxième fois (et cette fois dans sa salle de bain). Enceinte, c’était correct, je pense que les gens ont compris qu’on ne voulait pas être absentes au bureau en même temps, mais depuis que son petit est sorti, on me demande constamment si je prépare un deuxième bébé. 

L’affaire, c’est que je ne sais pas ben si j’en veux un deuxième. Le premier n’était pas prévu, quoiqu’avec le recul, c’est la plus belle surprise (et la plus challengeante aussi han!) de ma vie. Et là, on est bien, je trouve, moi pis ma famille, à essayer de trouver notre équilibre entre nos carrières et passer du temps ensemble. 

Sauf que, quand je suis invitée dans des soupers, des dîners ou des activités pour mères, on me trouve ben cute d’avoir « juste » un enfant. 

C’est à se demander si je suis moins mère parce que j’ai seulement un enfant. 

La réponse est non. Je sais qu’on a tous des défis. J’ai la chance d’avoir un enfant qui a comme plus grand défaut de ne pas vouloir s’endormir le soir. C’est le seul, à part ça, je peux le traîner de Niagara Falls à Natashquan sans qu’il chiale. Il est en santé, il n’a pas de problématique et on est bien. 

Mais c’est vrai, j’ai sûrement plus de temps qu’une maman qui en a deux, trois, quatre ou même six. C’est pas cute d’avoir juste un kid. Je veux dire, c’est pas moins ou plus. C’est pas être moins mère que d’avoir un enfant plus jeune ou plus vieux. Que d’être une mère séparée ou en couple. Faisons chacun ce que l’on pense être le mieux et c’est ben chill. C’est pas être moins mère que d’avoir juste un enfant. C’est pas être une super mère d’en avoir quatre. Je ne pense pas qu’il y ait des degrés de « méritude ». 

Les seules mères que je considère vraiment plus mères que moi, c’est celles qui doivent assumer les deux rôles. Être seule pour remplir le rôle de parent, c’est un défi en soi. Le manque d’aide et de ressources est criant et ces mères monoparentales sont des guerrières. Avoir le pouvoir de donner des médailles, j’en donnerais à chacune d’entre elles. 

Toute ma vie, j’ai été comparée à ma jumelle, je n’ai pas envie de me faire dire que si je peux encore aller déjeuner le dimanche matin, c’est parce que « j’ai juste un enfant ». Ce n’est pas non plus « parce que j’ai juste un enfant » que je peux le traîner dans des lancements ou des soupers chez des amis. Ce n’est pas non plus parce que « j’ai juste un enfant » que je peux faire des soupers nice la semaine. Je fais juste ce que je pense être le mieux, j’ai conscience du caractère privilégié de ma vie et de mon statut social pis ces privilèges-là jouent pour pas mal plus que le nombre d’enfants à ma charge. 

Je suis juste tannée qu’on m’infantilise à cause de ça. Ce n’est pas le nombre d’enfants qui fait les défis, mais les problématiques que les gens rencontrent. Via Tplmoms.

xxxx,

Janice 

The Brutal Truth About Those Pyramid Schemes.

.Reading time 9 minutes.
mother 

Whether it be Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, YouTube, or LinkedIn … we have been seeing a tremendous shift in peoples’ posts, a large percentage of them being women and/or mothers. As you scroll through your news feeds, you may find photos and posts with similar catch phrases of “join me“ or “are you ready to try ______ “ or you may possibly read “looking for ___ for my next group/party I’m hosting“. Why is there such a rise in these start up businesses? Why are we seeing a trend of these posts being blasted through all types of social media? Why does it appear that everyone is being fooled to hop on someone else’s bandwagon of what appears that they’re showcasing, well… the grass is greener on the other side? Well here’s the short and simple truth that I have found not only from research and personal experience, but simply living it: this actually works. These so called “schemes” are actually creating opportunities for millions to begin their own businesses from home. We’re living in an economy that it takes two incomes to make ends meet. We’re living in a country that is battling to have paid family leave available for all of its families. We’re living in a time that people are becoming sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sick and tired of living paycheck to paycheck – or maybe not even able to stay above afloat some months. Sick and tired of working long, tireless hours away from home, but there’s no choice. You must do what is necessary to pay the bills and put food on the table. Sick and tired of paying the astronomical costs for someone else to raise your children, while you’re answering to someone else.

A lot of these posts you’re seeing of these small businesses being advertised are mothers. And this should really come by no surprise to anyone. Mothers have met their breaking points head on and are taking leaps of faith to become Entrepreneurs, becoming their own boss of something that is giving them some freedoms. And you know what – it’s WORKING. There are no pyramid schemes, despite so many wanting to tag them as such, because you see – pyramid schemes are illegal. A lot of these businesses are multi level marketing which is what people are misinformed about. The MLM set up is why they are working with such success. They are set up in such a way to help the small business owner have a huge potential for financial success. Think of your traditional brick and mortar business where people aren’t “afraid” of a scheme. Is there a manager that helps assist people at their job? Does that person have a boss? And does that boss have an overseeing boss or manager? And so on, and so forth?Yes. Yes. Yes. And absolutely YES. Now do those managers, bosses and CEO’s depend upon their staff to do their jobs diligently in order for their business and companies to be successful? Yup. Now anyone who is a motivated individual, would they want to move up in their company? Would they like more pay and higher success? I would hope that every single working individual would answer yes to this. Likewise, if these people like their job, do they talk about it? If you personally go to a restaurant you like, do you tell your friends about it? If you find a store whose clothing you have fallen in love with, do you share it? What about a new recipe you just tried that your family enjoyed…you probably have shared this with your co-workers and friends, no? If this is the case, then every single one of us are involved in some type of pyramid scheme. God help us all.

Something to keep in your back pocket: when you’re buying from a chain store, you’re helping contribute to the retirement of the millionaire or billionaire CEO. When you’re buying from a small business owner, you’re helping pay for that family’s groceries, you’re paying toward the electric bill and helping Tommy afford a baseball glove or helping pay down Sarah’s outstanding hospital bill. You’re helping pay down school loan debt and you’re likewise contributing to someone’s ability to have more time with their children, their significant other or parents who may have fallen ill. And these small businesses – well, there’s nothing small about them with the amount of effort and time that these Entrepreneurs are putting into them. Yes, it’s more than a few posts on social media. Yes, it’s more than setting up a couple groups or sending out some invitations to their next party or group. Yes, it’s even more than posting those witty, inspirational sayings or selfies you see each day. It’s staying up late and getting up early to plan and strategize what you need to do to grow your business and share your product. It’s finding new and authentic ways to use social media to set yourself apart from the thousands of others who are trying to set the same competitive edge in their same business. It’s constantly learning the most recent updates in your business, adding to your contacts to ensure you are on the path to growing a thriving company, and working on your own personal development of bettering yourself as a business owner.

So the next time you’re scrolling through and considering the legitimacy of these posts that appear too good to be true, you may want to think twice. There is no comparison to the hustle and work ethic of a mother trying to provide for her family. If it happens to be something that piques your interest in something you’re already paying for from a chain or retail store, you just may want to give that small business owner a chance to prove you wrong. My hope is that you are incredibly thrown by your surprise of the legitimacy and the 1:1 care and attention you can receive from having an open mind and heart. I assure you, that dollar is going to go much further than you could possibly imagine. Via the Huffington post Regan Long Mother and writer. To follow Long, retired teacher at 31, you can find her on The Real Deal of Parenting Image via ONKEYBUSINESSIMAGES VIA GETTY IMAGES.

xxxx,

Janice