Most families have at least one relative whose modus operandi is to shoot people down. While your best approach may be avoidance, there are certain times of year when there’s no escaping these characters at big family gatherings.
On an episode of “Oprah’s Lifeclass,” television host and author Steve Harvey explains the best way to react to such negativity.
“That’s probably the most hurtful hurt there is, when it’s family that’s your critics and haters,” he says.
Whether the constant critique comes from a close sibling, a distant relative, a friend or even your own parent, Harvey has the same advice: Stop sharing your aspirations and goals with these people, period.
“You can’t tell big dreams to small-minded people,” he says. “You may have a person in your life who you can no longer take with you on the journey.”
Harvey, a once-homeless college drop-out who’s now a wildly successful Emmy Award winner, has used this strategy in his own life with powerful results. “I stop telling [negative] people everything that I think and want, because I know they can’t handle it,” he says simply.
In his book Act Like a Success, Think Like a Success, Harvey breaks down the different categories of haters that everyone should be on the lookout for, including the “I-hate-everything hater,” the “drag-you-down hater,” the “situational hater” and the “self-hate hater.” If you have any of these haters in your family or otherwise, Harvey says it’s time to remove them from that part of your life.
“When I share an idea with you and you don’t show me how to make that idea work — all your conversation is why it won’twork — I immediately end that conversation,” he explains. “I’m not interested in why it won’t work. That’s going to arise on the journey. I just need to know, can you feel what I’m saying, are you on board with it, do you have a suggestion how to make it work? The moment I hear, ‘Well, you know, I don’t think that’ll work,’ [I respond,] ‘OK, cool, thank you.’ And I’m gone.” Article from HuffPost.com